When the chaos of codependency sets in use these tips to quickly calm the codependent chaos.
These exercises are tried, tested and work to quickly calm you down and get you in a state of peace. While on the journey of recovery from codependency and relationship addiction there will be many times you are in chaos. This could be due to many reasons including not getting a text, being let down or lack of attention. The path of recovery from codependency is rife with situations like this. The further into recovery you get, the more able you are to gain control over yourself.
The aim is always to be in control of yourself and not be affected by others actions. As codependents we tend to react very quickly to all situations. This means we are always at the mercy of others and it is exhausting. As we get further into codependent recovery we are more able to quickly calm the codependent chaos.
- Is anybody going to die? Maybe they will if they continue to ignore/blame/shame but most likely everyone is safe. You may feel like the world is going to end but you already have a 100% success rate at life, and you will be fine. That’s good, it is a great starting point reduce the chaos you are feeling.
- You are just as important. The further you go into the codependent journey the more you will realise that you are just as important as the other person. Only you deserve this amount of time thinking about. What are your needs right now?
- Nobody is doing anything to you. This uncomfortable situation has arisen. You are now in chaos and not in control but you CAN gain that control back. It may take a few minutes, or hours but you will get there.
- You have a choice. When in the thick of all the chaos it is so important to realise that you have a choice. We are so busy reacting to everything we forget this massive factor. It makes a big difference when it is your decision to act. Reacting makes us think we have no choice but we do.
- Are you stuck in the future? Stop getting overwhelmed by things that have not happened. You do not know anything apart from what you are feeling right now. You are not mystic meg, your crystal ball is just glass. Your feelings are indicators you are not meeting your needs. That is all.
- What do you need right now? Have you eaten today? Have you slept enough? Have you exercised? Been kind to anyone? These are all the questions you need to answer. My guess is that somewhere in all the chaos of being codependent you forgot you. Go through the list and do each one. Then see how you feel. Chances are, now your focus is on you, you feel calmer.
- What is your favourite song? What is the song that makes you feel alive and like nothing matters? Listen to it, go and find it and put it on really loud. You can listen to it once or twenty times whatever you want is fine.
- Find a youtube video that clicks. When codependent chaos hits it’s hard to read, or do much at all. Go find a video that speaks to you. Listen for the persons voice. Does it feel good? Does their perspective match yours? You are not alone, there are literally thousands of codependents. Some are blaring and some are quiet, but they are there.
- Do some homework. There are tons of exercises on line. If you are stuck then try this to quickly calm the codependent chaos. Focusing on something else is the way forward without acting out and trying to stay calm.
When trying to quickly calm the codependent chaos you need to remember who you are. The point of the exercises above is to find you again in all the crazy. People who are not codependent may not get it and that is OK. It can feel strange saying out loud you’ve gone insane because you didn’t receive a text when you thought you should. Maybe your thinking has gotten so out of control you feel like crying. You may feel like the whole world is falling from below you.
What you can be assured of is this feeling will not last. It can’t last, it’s impossible. There will be another situation that will change everything.
Codependent chaos is awful. There is very little decision making and this feeling of being out of control eats us away. It is this feeling that guides us to do crazy behaviours. We think that doing whatever “act” will reduce the feeling. It won’t. What it will do is give us an extra reason to shame ourselves. SO when we finally gain control of our thoughts and behaviours, we realise that perhaps we didn’t handle it as well as we could.
Everything is in the past and the past doesn’t matter. You can’t change it and you don’t have a choice to deal with the future. If you feel you can’t cope with the future, if it really is terribly bad ring the Samaritans.